Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
