Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize