he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
