I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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