Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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