so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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