just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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