What a fucking waste of an outfit
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
