I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
