Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
