Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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