Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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