My pussy is not your playground.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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