WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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