Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I could make wine with my vomit
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
two words: eviction party
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
