I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She announced her abortion via fbk
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize