11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
