In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
