so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize