physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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