Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
bring money and cleavage
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
