so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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