so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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