Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
