im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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