I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
