I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
