Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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