I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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