This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
