My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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