Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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