She is in my trunk
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do vagina's smell?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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