You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
