I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
