help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
