Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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