you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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