Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
