Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
