I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
