At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
