im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
soo... how was my night?
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