Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
bring money and cleavage
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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