It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
