you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish i was in the wii world.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
