Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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