We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have aggressive nipples.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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