So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
