Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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