Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
