Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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