How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize