Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
