Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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