i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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