She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
