Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
