Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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