I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
