the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
