I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
