I bet he comes in French.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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