You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
