11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
