they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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