You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
