k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
