so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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