weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
whose ass print is on the piano?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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