Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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