I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
