I heard we made out
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
