he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
