For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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